everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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