yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
