Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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