New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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