Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
