Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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