She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
