Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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