Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize