Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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