Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
