ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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