my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
