Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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