i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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