Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
