Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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