No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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