u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
