Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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