I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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