just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
