I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
