dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
