he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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