i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
