He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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