you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
