Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
