I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
