Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
