where am i from again
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
