Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
