Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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