i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
