You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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