dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I need to stop coming to work sober
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
