Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
