Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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