just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
