I wish i was in the wii world.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
