awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
