so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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