Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
