Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i drank out of a bidet.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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