i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
