i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Success! We fucked roommates!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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