You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
