your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This is my gift to your gina
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
