my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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