i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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