YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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