You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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