i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
