no, he came in my armpit
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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