I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
