the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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