Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
