alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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