mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
