Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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