i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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