Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
