did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
"it" just moved
Fuck appropriateness.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
