butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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