It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
